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To Share, Not Share, Overshare?

by mmb_dev Leave a Comment

This is by far one of the most frequently asked questions I get on social media. Where is the line between sharing and oversharing, anyway? In order to get to the bottom of this, first, we need to discuss “being authentic” and “being vulnerable.” (Yes, I know, more personal branding buzzwords.)

Authenticity /ôTHenˈtisədē/
noun: true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character

Vulnerability \vəl-n(ə-)rə-ˈbi-lə-tē\
noun: having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome

To be authentic, what you say or share has to line up with what you believe. To be vulnerable, what you share allows you to connect to others in a unique way. Vulnerability and authenticity work hand in hand when you are sharing information that is personal or intimate in nature.

The main difference between being authentic or vulnerable and oversharing? Your expectations.

Let’s talk about the difference between the wrong expectations and the right expectations:

The Wrong Expectations:

  • Expecting to gain sympathy
  • Trying to fast-track a relationship
  • Making others question their abilities
  • Losing a sense of privacy
  • Making others feel intimidated

The Right Expectations:

  • Expecting nothing in return
  • Attempting to genuinely connect
  • Offering helpful information
  • Aligning intentions with your values

Brené Brown, the expert on vulnerability, shares some key wisdom on the topic in her book Daring Greatly: “Oversharing is not a vulnerability. In fact, it often results in disconnection, distrust, and disengagement…Using vulnerability is not the same thing as being vulnerable; it’s the opposite – it’s armor.”

Your expectations and intentions determine whether what you share is “oversharing.”

So, should you share it or not? Asking yourself these Brené-Brown-inspired questions will help you draw the line:

  • Why are you sharing it?
  • What outcome are you hoping for?
  • How do you feel about sharing it? What emotions are tied to what you are sharing?
  • Will you be offended if people respond in a certain way? (Or don’t respond at all?)
  • Does what you want to share align with who you are?

If your answers to the above questions align with the right expectations that we covered above, it’s unlikely that you are entering “oversharing” territory. Still unsure about whether you’re being authentic or simply oversharing? We’re here to help. Send me a message on Instagram or a shoutout on Twitter, and we’ll figure it out together.

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